Honesty Online

I was thinking about all the online job sites out there and was wondering if folks were truly being honest in their approach. I mean, come on, when I see what people have written about themselves you would think they could walk on water too. These walk on water folks may be honest and may be a bit presumptuous but hey, who wouldn’t be if you had done the following – streamlined, conceptualized, formulated and maybe even integrated. Yours truly used these words at one point as well. I figured these words, if nothing else, would get me the interview. Now, I’m at the point where I want people to know exactly what they are getting so I’ve tweaked my wording to the following – instead of using communicated, I’m gonna use spoke to. Instead of using incorporated, I’m gonna use attempted. Instead of using developed, I’m gonna use thought of.

Well, now that I think of it, it may be a bit too honest. Looks alot different when you write it out.

I guess it’s probably similar to online dating – you put a picture of Brad Pitt on your profile, you’re gonna get the calls. Figure out how to smooth them over once you enter the restaurant. You put a picture of the actor who portrayed Ernest in that Ernest Goes to Camp movie (that was Jim Varney for those of you keeping score at home) well, you might as well stay home and watch Ernest Goes to Camp.

Well, for your enjoyment, here is a first draft of a profile that I was considering for one of the many online job sites – I may have to twist it a bit;

Former Account Manager with Sales experience looking for an out-of-the-box thinking Ad firm that would be open to hiring someone like me. I was a graphic designer in the early 90's until the Dot Com explosion imploded (around 2001). I then went to work as an Inside Sales cube guy (to put food on the table) with future stops in Retail and Account Management. I've been a writer for the past eight years (nothing published as of yet) and would like to pursue this passion in a wonderful creative environment that loves to brainstorm. So, in summary, I would bring to the table some design experience, some writing experience, lots of people experience and an overall varied life experience (I'm also a musician for the past 25 years, playing the bass). I'm easy to get along with, I play nicely with other people and I will share (except for Gummi Bears - those are mine!). I hope this made sense and I thank you for reading.

I guess we are in ‘wait and see’ mode. In the meantime, I might as well watch Ernest Goes to Camp and pretend I’m Brad Pitt.

Able, Active and Available

So, I am trying to figure out if this so called 'universe' is now just toying with me. Here I am, again, going to a meeting at the local unemployment office, and of course, it was raining. No, it was teeming. I mean, pouring (please do not say anything about an old man snoring, thank you). The scorecard should now read, Universe-2, Me-0. As you may recall, the first unemployment meeting I had (on my birthday no less) it was raining as well. Good times I tell ya, good times. It's gotta be the universe. First, like a siren baiting me to follow her (getting me out of my cube job) has now turned to challenging me (two unemployment meetings in the rain? No job leads to think of? Come on!!). I curse you universe. I will eventually have my revenge on you in the form of a job I actually like.
Anyway, back to the meeting. The local unemployment office here in the Garden State is far from garden like. The fake wood paneling and bad lighting does not give an impression of 'warmth' or a 'we would like to help you' vibe. There was about twenty of us sitting at a variety of different table sizes and bad chairs all probably wondering the same thing - God, I hope my car is still in the lot when this is done!
The mood was quiet in the room as many of the folks there kept their eyes to themselves. The wardrobe consisted of everything from suits to sweats and flip flops to shoes with tassels. Obviously there is no dress code for attending an unemployment meeting (thankfully we did not have to stand up and introduce ourselves, i.e. Hi, I'm Brian and I am Unemployed - all, Hi Brian!) The young woman who ran the orientation kept mentioning that you had to be Able, Active and Available. That to me sounded like the catch phrase for a Senior Citizen dating website. Anyway, good information was tossed out like a Pez dispenser and then we all walked briskly to see if our cars were still in the lot. Whew! That was close. But I still need to let the instructor know that as of now, I am currently Able, Active and Available. And no, I am not on a website for Senior Citizens who wish to hook up. That universe is crafty one.

End of the week

This is the second post in my description of going through the unemployment blues (in D minor which is the saddest of all keys - Nigel Tufnel) so bear with me as I get my thoughts together.

Today is Friday and I've survived another week of not working. Well, not really, I mean, I have been working at finding work, somewhat. Let's see how the rest of my week went -
Drive daughter to school, check email, monitor Ebay account, start blog, check email, take webinar, make call to Unemployment, check email, think about starting a new post for blog, let the dog out, update Linked In account, check email, pick up daughter at school, finish post for blog. Repeat as necessary.

It's been three weeks since I was let go from the cube farm and I'm still at a standstill. I'm looking to go back to school for, of all things, copy writing (I really hope that my writing here in this blog is somewhat coherent). I find writing to be very therapeutic. Kinda like music (just ask my Fender Jazz bass). Kinda like reading (Just ask my latest paperback 'Fletch'). My thinking now is that the universe was telling me that I needed a change. And for that, I thank you universe.
Next week will bring two face-to-face meetings with the kind folks at the unemployment office and possibly more webinars. And definitely more blog posts.

I can get through this...

Happy Birthday

So, I celebrated my 45th birthday in grand fashion - I attended a mandatory meeting at my local State Unemployment office. Yuck. How did I get here? As I drove to the office in the pouring rain, I started to chuckle at the predicament that I was currently in. I mean, I had a job, albeit I was sitting in a cube doing, well, I really don't know, for a Fortune 5000 company. I had a nice new laptop that was blazing fast - just ask any song I downloaded from iTunes, I wore a headset for my weekly 'call campaigns', I dressed in pleated khakis and I had access to all the free coffee I could tolerate. That was then (the last week in April) this was now (the second week of May). At first, I thought, Cool!! Unemployment! I'm gonna sit around and drink umbrella drinks and wear flip flops - then the reality of the situation hit me like a ball peen hammer - Crap! I have a 30 yr fix mortgage and a kid in daycare. Time to get on the ball (so to speak).

I can get through this.

Ok, so back to my meeting - I eventually found a parking spot and soon found myself on the third floor in a small conference room surrounded by a lot of folks who didn't want to be there as well. We all watched a bad video (circa 1985 or so - could tell by the crazy hair style the narrator had) and filled out some forms. This lasted about an hour. I thought I was done. Time to go home and watch my Tivo-ed episodes of Family Guy. Ahh no. Time to get the resume in shape (still not complete). Time to fill out some online applications (fibbed a bit), Time to network (does Facebook count?). This is gonna be work.

I can get through this.

I was called the next day to attend yet another mandatory State meeting next week and this one is to be about 3 hours!! Seriously?

Ok, ok... I can get through this.

For now, being home closer to the wife and daughter beats sitting in a cube wearing a headset and pleated khakis drinking free coffee. Well, Ill take the free coffee.

I can get through this.